


of truth, and beauty, and love, and joy

by RedCrimez89



Category: Batman and Robin (Comics), DCU (Comics)
Genre: Alfred Pennyworth is the Best, Brothers, Christmas Cookies, Christmas Decorations, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Tree, Damian Wayne Feels, Gen, Hot Chocolate, Love, No Plot/Plotless, and drink hot chocolate, and they also decorate a Christmas tree, dick Grayson is dramatic as always, holidays got me in a good mood yall, its literally just Damian being happy, no angst i promise, shocking, we stan him in this household
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-17
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:15:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27599447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedCrimez89/pseuds/RedCrimez89
Summary: He used to think life was all about the fight. He used to think all he needed was himself and a blade, that DNA and biological connections along with your abilities were the only things that defined you as a person. But all along there was something more, something Damian would never understand until he moved to Gotham.————Or, Damian finally realizes what it’s like to be happy.
Relationships: Alfred Pennyworth & Damian Wayne, Dick Grayson & Damian Wayne
Comments: 2
Kudos: 27





	of truth, and beauty, and love, and joy

**Author's Note:**

> Whew, this was a journey to write. It took me about day to write this, which is really surprising because I usually take much longer to write these stories but hey, works for me! So I was thinking about doing a Winter Prompt Series and I decided to start with the prompt Christmas Tree and this is what we got! I know it’s not entirely centered on the tree decorating, but I really wanted to focus on Damian’s feelings for this one so I hope it went well??? If anyone has any prompt ideas feel free to suggest them in the comments. I’m almost guaranteed to role with it to be honest. Also, for those Dick Grayson fans, I’ve only written him about twice? So I’m super sorry if he is ooc I haven’t really studied up on him a lot yet heh....
> 
> But other than that, enjoy! Also, did anyone know hot cocoa and hot chocolate are different? No? Just me?
> 
> title from - "An inner happiness abode in all, A sense of universal harmonies, A measureless secure eternity Of truth and beauty and good and joy made one.” - Sir Aurobindo

There is something... unsettling about the season of Winter for Damian. He can’t quite put his finger on it, couldn’t explicitly explain it to you if you had asked, but it’s always just  there.  This feeling, he means. It’s always nibbling at the back of his mind, peeking around corners and begging him to play a nice round of hide and go seek. It always brings dread to his gut, makes him feel angry and jealous and happy all at once. It’s aggravating. It’s enjoyable. It’s strange. It’s liberating.

Maybe he feels this way because he is not born of snow and ice and cold like most people who take residence in Gotham. Or perhaps it’s because of the too overly happy smiles sent his way with the holidays just around the corner, ready to sneak up and blow in his face before he can even realize what day it is. Maybe it’s because Damian feels a bitter feeling towards the children he watches run around when he takes Titus on a walk to the park, or maybe it’s just that Damian hasn’t ever been too big on holidays and now that Gotham’s sharp and rigid edges have become muted by festive events and cheerful lights, he’s a tad bit paranoid about supervillains and their evil plots.

Or maybe Damian is just over reacting. Maybe he’s just thinking that there’s something different and strange about the season of Winter when there really isn’t. Maybe he’s just feeling a bit ill and under the weather, hallucinating figures among shadows and a bit confused and disoriented. But that would make no sense. Damian is fine. He is not sick. No, really! He isn’t. There is no sore throat, no coughing, no war taking place inside his body. No symptoms or diseases.

And Damian knows he’s been seeing something moving in the corner of his eye out on patrols, flickering away when he turns his head to get a better look. He knows what he’s feeling isn’t from a foggy or unclear state of mind and he knows that he isn’t paranoid or overacting based off the lack of itchiness under his skin. So what is wrong with him?

Damian picks up a couple glass ornaments from the box of Christmas decorations sitting as his feet, squeezing his hands so tightly he’s sure the glass will shatter from the pressure. ( Lucky for him the glass stays intact and so does the silver glitter and fake snow sprinkled inside of them.) He places the ornaments on the tree, not really paying attention to the distance between them, or the lack thereof. He’s too enveloped in his thoughts, trying to dissect these feelings of lightness and heaviness, of fight and flight, of joy and anger and so much more.

He dwells on this as he crouches down to pick up a couple more ornaments, startled by the voice of his older brother. “ Damian? You alright buddy? You haven’t said a word since we’ve started decorating the tree.” Damian’s head snaps to where Grayson is standing next to him. The man stares at him with a look of worry in his eyes, brows furrowed in a search to figure out what is wrong.

Damian re-places the ornaments that are too close together and continues to scatter decorations on the tree. “ Of course I’m fine Grayson. I just happen to have the ability to not need to engage in conversation every five minutes.” His lips tug into a smirk when he glances to his left to see Graysons reaction. The man pulls on a fake offended face, gasping and clutching at his heart while being overly dramatic as per usual. Maybe this is where Todd gets it from.

“ How dare you insult me like this! I’ll have you know I was completely silent while taking midterms during high school.” Grayson adds the red snow sled he was holding onto a branch of the tree. The man crouches down to grab a snow globe ornament along with a matching green sled.

Damian simply rolls his eyes at his dramatics, hanging up a derpy looking snowman Richard had insisted on hanging up. “ I highly doubt that sentence holds even an ounce of truth Grayson.”

“ You’d be surprised Master Damian.” Both of the brothers turn to see Alfred standing at the threshold of the living room, a tray of hot chocolate and cookies in hand. Damian watches Grayson put up the last of the tree decorations and turn to direct a blindingly bright smile at Pennyworth. His brother then turns to him with the smile, causing Damian to feel a warmth in his chest he feels very often now. He takes Graysons outstretched hand despite the fact he does not need assistance, and offers Pennyworth a small smile of his own.

“ Thanks Alf.”

“ Thank you Pennyworth.”

Damian sees the mans eyes twinkle in the light, a rare smile gracing the man’s lips. “ It is my pleasure young sir’s.” 

Pennyworth hands them both a mug of hot chocolate and sets the tray of cookies on a nearby table before retreating back to the kitchen. Damian sits down on the floor with his mug and Grayson follows suit, grabbing a few cookies and stuffing them into his mouth. His face scrunches up at his brothers lack of manners but maybe it’s all worth it when he goes for a sip of steaming hot chocolate to wash it all down. ( It takes a lot of self control not to say “ I told you to wait” or snicker so he simply face palms with a small smile on his face.)

And it’s only now that Damian finally understands what this feeling is. It’s happiness. Damian is  _ finally  _ happy. It’s taken years, has taken hurt and pain and anger and jealousy to get here. It has taken wishing to know the freedom of childish innocence and letting that go. It has taken relearning himself and his ways of living along with his adopted morals from a madman. And last of all, it has taken so much acceptance and understanding that once upon a time, Damian would’ve tossed away in favor of continuing to know his place.

Damian has had to fight for this. He’s had to climb up the mountain and break his wrist, take out the group of assailants, break every bone and tear every ligament in his body until he finally understand, and then do it all over again in a much more different way.Damian has given up everything he’s ever known for these little moments, decided that  no  this isn’t what he wants to be and  yes  he will work day and night until he is pleased with the reflection in the mirror. He’s done that and so, so much more it’s all hard to recall just how he got this far. 

He used to think life was all about the fight. He used to think all he needed was himself and a blade, that DNA and biological connections along with your abilities were the only things that defined you as a person. But all along there was something more, something Damian would never understand until he moved to Gotham. Life is about the fight, yes, but it is also about family. It is about having loved ones and loving who you see in the mirror, it is about finding yourself and seeking out a destiny that you create with your own hands. It’s about that and so much more Damian won’t understand until he’s older. And that’s okay. That’s fine. There’s plenty of time to figure things out, plenty of time to grow up and seek his own future away from the names Wayne and Al Ghul.

And one day Damian will be even more happier than he is now. He’ll feel this love and joy and fondness by a tenfold and he’ll be able to say it was all because he stopped trying to be what others wanted and expected of him and instead sought out to become what he himself had always wanted to be.

But for now, Damian is content with sitting here and watching the lights of the Christmas Tree flicker different colors, drinking hot chocolate with Richard on a December afternoon. And not for the last time, Damian smiles a genuine smile with his brother, heart soaring so high that he finally knows what it’s like to fly.

**Author's Note:**

> So I kinda want to explain a couple things in case this didn’t make sense?
> 
> I like to think the “figure” Damian was seeing on patrols was him imagining himself if he grew up with Bruce in Wayne Manor. I think Damian often thinks about that a lot and I know he’ll always feel a little resentment towards normal kids because they will always have experienced something Damian never will: childish innocence.
> 
> Throughout the story he mentions conflicting feelings. This is because he is angry with himself. Damian is mad that it is so easy to feel this way, that all it took was a smile from Dick or a couple words of encouragement and suddenly it was all better. Sometimes it’s hard for Damian to accept that no, these showings of affection aren’t weaknesses. And I think he really loves them but kind of hates himself for giving in so easily if that makes sense? He feels free but he has never been free before, so he’s upset that know he kind of has to figure things out on his own without just flat out being given orders. 
> 
> I hope that shaped it up for you if you were confused? Comments and constructive criticism are always welcome and any prompt suggestions will be taken into consideration. Have a good day :)


End file.
